Just took my morning after pill in the library
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
