I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize