is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
