My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
