Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
