so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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