brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
