did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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