Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
