i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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