she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
