It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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