He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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