At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.