Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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