I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
