is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
