It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize