I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
