I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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