dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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