sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
