it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
