so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
