You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
