final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
