she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
