I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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