Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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