is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
