You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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