fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
