Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
