birth control should be required to get into college
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
