im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize