We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
