I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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