I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
