god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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