just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
