What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
