I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
