Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
