Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
