I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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