wakey wakey hands off snakey
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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