god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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