They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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