We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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