Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
