in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
