woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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