so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
