i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
