i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
