she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
