Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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