She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize