Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
