okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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