# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize