Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this boner is exhausting
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
