I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
