So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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