hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
